


And your heart will stay forever

by mikeysgerard



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: 2003 mikey, Basement Gerard Way, Consensual, F/M, First Time, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Sibling Incest, there will be song references sorry pete
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 18:30:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19978588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikeysgerard/pseuds/mikeysgerard
Summary: It starts with a knock on Gerard’s door...





	And your heart will stay forever

**Author's Note:**

> Story title from Gerard's song "Baby You're A Haunted House" because I secretly want this song to be about Mikey and Gerard.
> 
> As always, don't know, don't own. This is pure fiction and only ever happened inside my head. I don't mean any harm to any of the characters. I actually love Bert, and Pete especially. A LOT.
> 
> All mistakes on me as I didn't have a beta for this. Let me know if something bothers you especially :)

It starts with a knock on Gerard’s door. Well, actually, it starts way before that.

After weeks, no months, even, Mikey finally finds himself standing face to face with Gerard’s door with sweaty palms and a too fast heartbeat that he writes off as either excitement or fear of losing everything he has with his brother.

Another two deep breaths, and finally he musters up the courage to raise his hand and knock.

“Who is it?” Gerard’s muffled voice asks from down in the basement and Mikey has to supress a roll of his eyes because who else would knock on his door and forgot their key? Their mum never even bothers to come down here anymore, only orders Mikey to get something she wants from Gerard and their dad never knocks, just waltzes right in, much to Gerard’s dislike.

“Dude, it’s Mikey.“ He tries to keep his voice stern and neutral but he’s so nervous that it takes a lot not to run away and chicken out.

He’s about to do just that when Gerard opens the door and looks at Mikey in question. His skin looks a little pink around the cheeks and his hair is a gigantic mess, looking like he just woke up from a nap which he probably did.

“Well?” Gerard asks, eyebrows raised when Mikey just stands there, saying nothing and he mentally slaps himself.

He had it all planned out; what he was going to say, what he was going to wear (the tiny blue t-shirt and his low riding pants because Gerard likes them best), hell, he even tried to choose the perfect time of day for this, and now he was just standing there. He shakes himself slightly and asks to come in.

Gerard just shrugs and steps aside, letting Mikey slip past him and walk down the stairs of the basement. Mikey hears Gerard yawn behind him, following with lazy steps and Mikey momentarily grins to himself, simply because he yawns like a freaking whale without a bother in the world.

Gerard slumps back on the bed but Mikey stays close to the steps, just in case he needs to flee of embarrassment or if he decides to chicken out after all. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and looks down at his socked feet on the dirty carped, toeing a broken pencil around.

“I need your help with something.” Mikey decides to say carefully but doesn’t look up just yet. “Pete’s finally decided that, well, it was time to take the next step, and I’m all in for that, you know that, but like, it’s not like I’m a total virgin in that department or anything-“

“Mikey,” Gerard stops him but Mikey doesn’t hear it.

“-I just want to be good for him and I wouldn’t even know what he’s into, you know-“

“Mikey!” Gerard tries again, voice stronger this time and finally Mikey looks up, mouth still slightly open and now that Gerard can actually see his face, he finds that his brother is pale white with a look of anxiety in his expression.

Mikey just looks at him now with big eyes from behind his thick glasses and quickly shuts his mouth, his arms crossing even further against his chest.

“Need my help _how_?” Gerard asks carefully and sits up on his knees, giving him his full attention. Mikey usually doesn’t stutter around him or flushes or looks nervous, for fucks sake. This isn’t like him, and Gerard is momentarily worried that Mikey is about to ask to lend him money for a hooker or whatnot. One of his friends had their first time with a hooker and while he’s okay with the idea in general, he isn’t okay with that concept for his little brother.

Mikey seems frozen for a moment, then sighs and squints his eyes, his voice going soft just like Gerard’s used to.

“I trust you most, right, which is important, and Pete’s great and all but I was wondering if you…” He lets his head hanging and it’s barely a whisper when he admits, “I only ever fucked girls Gee, okay.”

Gerard’s head is really trying not to misread this statement, but he’s got a feeling that Mikey is asking him for sex with him. Either that, or he really does want to get a hooker, apparently male, which would make sense in the way that Gerard is an adult and Mikey isn’t just yet. He’s still 17 for a few more weeks.

But judging Mikey’s body language, it’s not the latter. Gerard takes a moment to consider this. Mikey’s a good-looking guy, the prettiest even, and it’s not that he’s never thought of it before. Maybe not in so many words, but sometimes if he’s not careful enough, his jerk off stash takes a direction that probably shouldn’t ever be outspoken. For brothers, they have never been normal with all this love they have for the other, though this could take it a bit too far. It’s obvious that Mikey has thought long and hard about this, because he never does things just because he can, even if he appears nervous about this now. It’s understandable, Gerard assumes. He’d do anything for him, even if it means taking his virginity. Well, sort of at least. If that’s what Mikey wants him to do, he’ll be damned not to. And Mikey is right, the trust they have for each other reaches infinity. Gerard would make sure not to hurt him, he’d let him lead this, if that’s what he needs and wants, so maybe Mikey has got a point here.

Still, Mikey hasn’t actually said the words yet so Gerard clears his throat awkwardly and asks for him, feeling only a tiny bit strange about it.

“Are you asking for sex with me?” And yeah, okay. Saying it out loud is insanely weird and he mentally high-fives himself for not actually passing out on the spot.

Mikey’s head is still hanging low, but Gerard can just make out how he bites his bottom lip when he says the words and how he inwardly shudders. Then he slowly nods his head and eventually looks up, his fingernails dangerously close to ripping the flesh from his skinny arms from digging in so hard.

Gerard doesn’t need to ask him if he’s sure about this, because he would tell him if he wasn’t. That’s how it works with them and proofs how deep their trust for the other goes. Instead he asks, “Would I even be able to turn you on? I mean…”

Because he knows Mikey would turn him on, no question. It happened a couple of times in the past but that wasn’t intentionally. One time, they were watching Harry and June down here in the basement at God knows what hour in the night and Mikey had his feet in Gerard’s lap, wriggling them around without noticing, apparently, and Gerard was maybe a bit distracted, okay, because there was also a sex scene going on and one thing just lead to the other, but Mikey didn’t notice and Gerard held his breath for like an hour until the movie was out and Mikey had gone to his own room.

The second time, Frank and Ray were over and getting baked and Gerard gets horny fast when he’s high and Mikey told them how he fucked his girlfriend for the first time. Not that Gerard didn’t already know this story, because Mikey had told him pretty much an hour after it had happened, but this time there were drugs and alcohol and he couldn’t help himself.

He asks him because he feels like it’s a legitimate question. He’d bet his own hands that Ray doesn’t get turned on by one of his siblings and it would make the entire thing unnecessarily awkward if Mikey wouldn’t get it up. To his surprise, Mikey’s head shoots up and his face reads an expression that speaks of clarity.

“You would.” Mikey says, sounding a bit breathless but completely sure of his answer. His eyes don’t have a look of fear in them anymore, but something like excitement and hope for what he hopes Gerard’s answer is going to be.

“Okay then.” Gerard nods once and doesn’t tear his eyes away from his brother, who looks actually relieved. Did he really think Gerard was going to say no to this? Reasonably, he probably did. Because after all, Gerard’s been with Bert for a while now, and he likes him, but it’s mostly just fucking around. So yeah, that wouldn’t be enough reason for Gerard not to do this. He looks Mikey up and down once, maybe stopping a second too long on the stripe of skin between his fucking tight shirt and his jeans, but he’s quick to recover and contain himself. He’s got this.

“Did you wanna do it right now?” He asks, mainly to just say something before Mikey shuts down again and he doesn’t really want that. “Because I was about to take a shower when you knocked, but if you-“

“No that’s okay,” Mikey steps in quickly. “I need to finish my assignment anyway, but I was thinking maybe tonight, like around 9 or 10? When mum and dad go to bed.” And that’s final. Mikey feels like this is it. A settled thing, and Gerard confirms with a nod and a pure, honest smile.

“Alright then.” Gerard says, inwardly a little nervous but he tries to hide it from Mikey. He doesn’t need that now. Mikey nods and turns around quickly to hide everything he’s feeling right now from nervousity to excitement, aiming for the first step when suddenly Gerard is right behind him. He hadn’t heard him get up from the bed at all.

Gerard reaches out then, stopping Mikey before he can escape his room. Mikey turns towards him, looking at Gerard’s grip on his upper arm and then up in his eyes. “We good?” Gerard asks hastily, sounding painfully unsure all of a sudden. It puts Mikey at ease that he’s not the only one who’s nervous about this and he smiles at his brother. “We’re good.” He says and leans in for a quick peck on Gerard’s cheek like he usually does when the moment offers it. Then he pushes his glasses up his nose and heads for the steps, leaving Gerard to himself and that shower he wanted to take.

-

The needed concentration for his assignment is basically non-existent.

It isn’t that he never tried for anal, Mikey thinks and stares down at his messy handwriting on the spiral-bound notepad. There’s a slightly wet spot where he accidently spilled his coke and tried to soak it up with the hem of his shirt. His teacher is so going to give him shit for that, she already hates him which is only going to make it worse. He’ll deal with it later though because right now he’s in his own headspace and memories of a hurried shower and a nervous finger up his own ass. It didn’t hurt, exactly. It was just weird, is all. A new sensation that needed more attention but Mikey didn’t bother the next time he took a shower. He had a girlfriend at the time, so why waste time and nerves on this?

Then Pete happened. Pete Wentz, with his stupid emo hair and huge smile and tanned skin, and suddenly the world he knew before was paused and pushed aside. The breakup with Alicia was hard and painful. Did she deserve it? Of course not. She was sweet and funny and had a bit of flesh on her bones where Mikey never had, and he adored it. But he also couldn’t lie to her and so he ended their relationship after over a year and a half.

Alicia wasn’t his first. He lost his virginity to Sarah in her room in her parent’s house at the age of 14. It had been awkward as hell and definitely wasn’t super great, but he was a horny teenager, wanting to explore this new world and she seemed to be on the same page about this.

Pete was different. Obviously, since he was a boy and all, but also in the sense how he made Mikey feel. Pete was fucking poetic when it came down to it and the way he talked to his new lover was breath taking. He hadn’t even told him that he loved him, not per se, but he made Mikey feel loved because his words could be bone shattering if he wanted them to be.

He was also stupidly beautiful. He wasn’t afraid to wear heavy chole around his eyes or dark nail polish on his fingernails. All of his hard-earned money went into tattoos and Mikey revealed in them. He taught Mikey new ways to kiss and to touch, but the final step hadn’t happened yet, not after nearly 4 months of dating. That’s what was strange about Pete since he was the one who invented public make-out sessions, but it was also oddly sweet. They’d touched and there might have been a sloppy handjob at some point, but they hadn’t fucked yet and it started to frustrate Mikey. But he didn’t want to push Pete who said he needed time, _Hold on just a while longer Mikeyway_ , and so he waited.

And since the waiting was now coming to an end, he wanted to be perfect for that boyfriend of his. Mikey isn’t the romantic type of guy, not even a little, but Peter Wentz is, and he respected that and worked out a compromise whenever the situation was right. Such as their first time could and would be.

Mikey sighed and tried to collect his thoughts in need to finish his assignment. Oh, what the fuck ever. He was on Mrs. Tishle’s bad list anyway. A bad grade wouldn’t change that. He crumbled up the paper and threw it into his basket by his door, then slopped back against his chair and tried to decide what to do to kill the time before he was going down to meet Gee and take it up the ass. It sounded heartless, he thought, and couldn’t contain the tiniest smile to himself, because _nothing_ about the Ways was ever heartless. There was only love. Be it the love you had for a close friend, the love for a family member or for your lover or husband/wife. What kind of love didn’t matter when it came down to it, they experienced all kinds of love and they were never afraid to admit it to the other.

Gerard had experience with guys. He’d been with nameless dudes at college, even dated fucking Gabe Saporta once. How that happened will probably always be a mystery by the universe. He’d been with a girl many years back, probably when he was still in the closet and wanted to fit in, but Lindsey never completed him, or so he told Mikey years later. Bert is…well. Bert is an asshole, to put it simple. But Gerard’s okay with that, mostly. They’re fuckbuddies more than they are boyfriends, or so Gerard said and Mikey knows for a fact that Gee’s been mooning over Frank for a while now, though he will probably never admit it, no matter how much Mikey encourages him.

The point is, Gerard knows how to be with a dude and that is an important aspect for tonight, at least it is in Mikey’s head. But also, who wouldn’t want Gerard!? He might be a smelly basement vampire, but he’s the gentlest, purest soul Mikey has ever come across.

And he can be one hot motherfucker if he wants to be. A hot motherfucker, a fierce chick, a ratty nerd kid and a handsome, _really_ fucking handsome, guy. That’s Gerard Way for you. Mikey couldn’t not be a bit hot for him. And also in love.

That was also the reason why Mikey didn’t feel an ounce of disgust when he thought about what was going to happen tonight. They hadn’t done anything that came close to sex in the past, but who plans on these things, right? Okay, Mikey does, apparently. He shakes his head and goes over to his bed, pulls out his controller and hits Play on his X-Box.

-

Gerard shrieks when suddenly the fairly cool spray of the shower turns fiery hot. Damn old waterpipes. One of these days they’ll try to kill him. He quickly turns off the water and leans his forehead against the cool tiles of the shower, trying to breathe the shock out of his system.

Should he have said no to Mikey?, he wonders and watches the last remains of foam drift through the plug hole. He might have, but even being clear in the head that they’d break the law this evening wasn’t enough to go have a chat with Mikey and tell him that this would take it too far, and that he’s only trying to be a reasonably, good older brother about this. But fuck it. This was Mikey. There was no chance he could have said no.

He might have had an eye on Iero, and he just really wanted to confess his stupid, endlessly crush to him, but Mikey had this thing where even the air around him looked utterly beautiful. It wasn’t just the obvious beauty factor that Mikey could praise himself with, though. More often than not Gerard just wanted to pin those skinny little wrists against his doorframe or leave marks on Mikey’s fucking gorgeous, tiny waist. He’d have to contain himself tonight.

He was about to get hard from these thoughts but he tenaciously ignored it and stepped out of the shower, started to rub himself fairly dry with one of Elena’s old towels that had lavender flowers on it and decided his next step.

He showered. Okay. Not most of his sex partners had that privilege in the past, but this was Mikey and he wasn’t just sniffing his pits and shrugging at the stale smell of old sweat and bring it over with like he usually would. He could do as much as present a showered body and relative clean clothes but he hoped Mikey wouldn’t expect a sea of rose pedals on his bedsheets tonight and dozens of lit candles that smelled like ‘romantic oasis of love’ or what the shit ever these things are labelled these days.

He could be wrong but he didn’t write his brother off as the hero of romance and he was a bit glad. Gerard could be romantic, but only in the sense of dramatic death scenes between star crossed lovers in his comic books or late-night sketches and he firmly believed that Mikey aimed after him with this.

He showered, but what should he wear? His day clothes? His pyjama? Just his underwear? He settles for black boxer briefs, his Star Wars pyjama pants and a plain old tee, hoping that Mikey won’t expect something out of the ordinary. Then he thinks, Oh God, what if _Mikey_ wears something out of the ordinary? He once told Gerard that Alicia made him wear stockings and heels and found that he actually liked it himself. Gerard won’t be able to deal with that level of kinky Mikey tonight. Not that he minds the attire for sex in general, especially on twink dudes like his brother, fuck no, but he’s getting horny enough as it is right now.

He grabs his junk and gives it a good squeeze to calm down and goes back to his room in the basement. He makes a coffee, extra strong, and starts to clean up some of the shit on his floor. He might not surprise Mikey with roses or whatnot, but he does want some sort of nice environment for him and not a dozen of ratty t-shirts and leftovers from todays pizza to fuck on.

He sips his coffee and decides to put clean sheets on his bed because he can’t remember the last time he did that. Ew. Then he takes the dirty laundry and stuffs it into the washing machine but doesn’t hit Start now. Wet laundry slapping together isn’t much of a turn on, he figures. That leads him to wonder if Mikey’ll want to listen to music while they do it. He might does, so he gets out some Bowie and Axl Rose, just in case.

He goes over to his bedside table and opens the top drawer and applauds himself when he finds two condoms and half a bottle of cherry lube. _Cherry_. Fucking Bert…

When he thinks he’s done with the preppings, he grabs his sketchbook and a pencil and sits carefully on his fresh sheets and waits.

-

At 9:30 sharp, Mikey once again raises his hand and knocks on the basement door. While he waits for Gee to open the door, seriously, stupid self-lock mechanism, he wonders if he might should have put on something other than a white tank top, loose boxershorts and tennis socks. At least he remembered to brush his teeth after eating the rest of his dinner.

Gerard opens the door and says, “You’ll never use the key I gave you, will you?” but there’s a smile around the words and Mikey relaxes a little.

“Had other things in my mind.” Mikey admits and Gerard smiles wider and steps aside to let him in. As they wander down the stairs, Gerard gets his Malboros and lighter out of his pyjama pockets and lights a cigarette. He’s fucking nervous.

“You cleaned up.” Mikey says perplexed and turns to face Gerard, who stands two metres away from him. “You didn’t have to, dude. Is that a fresh bedding?”

“I didn’t wanna be a complete asshole, okay, and I always have shit lying around and- what?!” Gerard asks frustrated around a puff of smoke when Mikey’s lips curl into a tiny smile.

“Glad I’m not the only one who’s losing his cool over this.” Mikey says and points back and forth between the two of them. Of course Mikey’d know that Gerard had a minor freak out earlier and still hasn’t entirely calmed down yet. Whatever, he is only human.

There is a moment of awkwardness where neither of them seems to know what to say. Gerard tries to break the silence with the first thing that comes to his mind and is surprised that he’s not just babbling but that he means his words.

“You look good.”  
“I look like always.” Mikey says, a tad amused and Gerard shrugs.

“Well yeah, but still.”

The silence returns and Gerard walks over to his bed and sits down. He takes a long drag from his cigarette and musters Mikey, who leans awkwardly on the wall next to Gerard’s bedside table. He doesn’t wear his glasses like he usually does, but then again, he’s in his sleeping clothes and glasses don’t belong there. But in all honesty, Gerard is glad. The glasses kind of became Mikey’s trademark and everyone knows him with those things on, but Gerard was there from the moment he was born and saw his face, his naked, true Mikey face in the hardest of times. Back when he still had none, later when he had to take them off to wipe away tears and even later clumps of eyeliner, and sometimes both at once. This face is the one Gerard knows and loves best. Not that he doesn’t like his glasses, he actually digs dudes with them and Mikey sure as hell makes them work, but yeah, there’s also the other side. Other than that, he sees more skin in the attire Mikey chose than he would through the day and is surprised that he developed a nice tan where his clothes allowed it. The skin that was hidden behind cotton and denim is pale and looks just like Gerard’s used to. He’s got pretty hairy legs and he hasn’t shaved his armpits in a while which personally, Gerard prefers. Mikey looks also nervous but none the less sure of what’s going to happen.

There are a few things they need to clear up before they start, though, so Gerard shuffles around on the bed a bit and says, “We should talk, first. Like are you okay with, say, kissing and stuff or-”

To Gerard’s surprise, Mikey chuckles and says, “You’d lose out if you wouldn’t want to kiss me cause, y’know. I’m pretty good at it. You also know what I did so far with Sarah and Ally and with Pete, well. We made out, he saw me naked and he gave me a handjob, but that’s about it. Just, treat me like you would anyone else, okay?”

For a moment, Gerard is at a loss of words but then his brain makes the connection to his voice and mouth. “I can’t just treat you like some stranger dude, you’re my brother. I will however let you make the decisions and all so just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll try my hardest to please you.”

Then Gerard realises that the choice of his words probably wasn’t the best at the end there and he can see that Mikey really tries to supress his laughter for a moment or two, but then looses it and so does Gerard.

“Fuck, this is so weird man.” Mikey says when his breathing slowly calms down and his body stops being erupted by laughter. He leans his head against the wall and confesses with a sigh, “I’m not just ‘using’ you, by the way. I’d want this even if it wasn’t for this whole Pete thing. You know I love you.”

He hears Gerard get up from the bed and pad over to where Mikey is plastered against the wall. Mikey adjusts his head and sees that Gerard stands in front of him now, hair slightly tousled and probably never saw a hairbrush after the shower, he smells like coffee and shower gel and nicotine and Gee, and Mikey’s sex hormones start to slowly kick in.

“I know.” Gerard says simply and brings his cigarette up between his lips for one last drag before stubbing it out in the ashtray on the bedside table, his eyes never leaving Mikey. When he starts to release the cloud of smoke through his nose and mouth, he steps closer to Mikey and places both of his broad palms on Mikey’s sharp hipbones.

“You’re hot.” Mikey says fitfully and in a rough voice, not even planning to say it but still totally meaning it. Right now should be the moment to die of nerves but he only finds his nervousity from before subsiding.

Gerard smirks as he pulls Mikey in for a kiss on the lips. The first one of this kind ever between them. Which seems like a total waste, now that he thinks about it. Mikey can feel the smirk against his lips and he kisses Gerard until it fades away so Mikey can part Gerard’s lips with his tongue. His brother tastes heavily like cigarette smoke and remains of coffee, and Pete smokes and drinks coffee himself, but the taste is somehow different and just as intoxicating.

“I love you too, by the way. Though you already know that.” Gerard says, the last part coming out only as a whisper when he pulls off slightly, but just enough that the words can slip out against Mikey’s mouth.

Mikey opens his eyes and sees that Gerard had the same idea, and it should be weird, being this close to someone’s face, and lips less than a millimetre away from your own flesh and blood, but neither of them seem to find these thoughts in their souls.

“I do.” Mikey says gently and smiles against Gerard’s lips. Then he says, “C’mon,” and slides his palm up Gerard’s back and into his hair to pull him in for another kiss. This one is heated right from the start and they melt against each other.

It doesn’t take long before the room is filled with sloppy kissing sounds, hushed pants and occasional moans as they make out against the wall. Gerard is reminded of his thoughts from earlier and now would be so easy, now that he’s got Mikey pressed against something solid. But he also doesn’t want to move his hands from his hips that are now exposed because of Mikey’s tank top rucking up. Instead he decides to tighten his grip on Mikey, press his crotch against Mikey’s and start to nibble at his neck.

Mikey groans and lets his head fall back against the wall like earlier, only this time he feels like he can’t control it. “Gee, bed.” He manages to stutter out and Gerard bites down at his words which leads to Mikey bucking his hips hard against his brother’s.

“Shit dude, come on.” Mikey groans frustrated when Gerard won’t move and pushes him off of him, hot and furious, and takes Gee’s hand, pulls him towards the bed, pushes him down roughly and climbs on top of him.

“Fuck, you’re so bossy, what the hell.” Gerard gasps, more turned on than surprised at the turn of events and is shushed a second later by Mikey’s mouth on his again. Mikey kisses the fucking air out of his lungs, sucks on Gerard’s tongue and lips and bites and nibbles until Gerard is sure he sees stars and says once again, “What the hell,” when he manages to catch a breath. Mikey is _into_ it. Fuck.

“Told you you’d miss out.” Mikey says when he pulls away and the smirk on his face is evil.

“Where did you even to learn how to kiss like that, man.” Gerard asks breathless with an arm thrown over his eyes and the other on Mikey’s hip as Mikey starts to run his hands up and down Gerard’s sides. It’s been only like, a few minutes and they’re both hard already. Shit. This is going to be tough.

Mikey plants his lip over Gerard’s ear after stroking his hair away and mumbles in a deep and rough voice, Mikey’s sex voice, Christ, “Ally sometimes wanted to fuck while we were watching porn and while it’s gross sometimes you also learn a lot. I’m a pro at this.” And honestly? Is Gerard even fully awake?! Mikey’s word make Gee’s dick twitch so hard that Mikey feels it against his own junk and he whispers, “Fuck yeah,” against Gerard’s ear before licking behind it and grinding his hips down to proof a point and adding, after another of Gerard’s moans, “What was that about being able to get it up around you?”

Mikey is kind of proud of Gerard’s reaction. And he really is good at kissing and having a dirty mouth, even Pete praises him for that and Pete himself is the king of kissing the shit out of someone and basically quoting porn.

Gerard huffs a breathless laugh and pulls the arm from his eyes to look up at Mikey through dazed eyes and strokes his thumb over the skin on Mikey’s hip. Mikey sits up then and grins down at his brother. So good so far, but then, “Okay so, from here on I need your help. I’m usually good with foreplay and all but well. I’ve never blown a dude.” Mikey swears he sees the mischievous glance in Gerard’s eyes and feels himself slightly blush and ducks his head. “Therefore, please guide me through this. I wanna try it.”

And so Gerard does. But not before taking another good look at his brother. The way he sits casually with a hard-on that nearly pokes out from under his boxers on Gerard’s hips, Gerard’s both hands now on Mikey’s hipbones and thumbs stroking over the exposed flesh of waistband and hemline, the rucked up tanktop and the soft outline of Mikey’s belly and sternum underneath it. His arms hang loosely by his sides, palms open and fingertips gently resting on the bedsheets underneath them. Mikey has awfully pretty fingers, damn it. There are signs of muscles on Mikey’s biceps but otherwise his arms are painfully thin and lanky. But to hell if it doesn’t suit him. His face and expression are surprisingly calm and concentrated but Gerard can tell he’s eager and probably counting to ten inside his head.

Then Mikey’s expression shifts into a small smile and flushes a light shade of pink and says, “You’re acting like you’ve never seen me before.”

Gerard rolls his eyes amused and lets his finger wander up under Mikey’s top and pushes up, giving the hint that he wants it removed which happens only a split second after. “Not like this, I haven’t.” Gerard says, slowly runs his palm over Mikey’s boner through his boxers and grins when it’s Mikey’s turn to roll his eyes and gasps.

“You know it, baby.” He says sarcastically but he beams down at Gerard while slowly scooting down on his legs and settling in between them. "So," he says once he found a comfortable position and takes a deep breath to collect himself. "You gonna guide me through this, then?"

Gerard pushes up into a sitting position and shrugs his own shirt off, ignoring the fact that he's incredibly self-conscious, even in front of Mikey who's known him all his life. But some things will never change, apparently. Not that his brother thinks bad of him or talked behind his back or any of this crap others have done in the past, but it is a bad habit he can't seem to get rid of. Whatever.

After throwing the shirt somewhere on the ground next to his bed, a thought crosses Gerard's mind. It's something he needs to clarify before anything else happens on these sheets tonight. He stays in the sitting position so he's eye level with Mikey and asks, very carefully while searching his eyes for hints of emotion, "This won't fuck us up, right?"

Mikey's expression softens and he lifts his right hand to run his fingers through Gerard's hair, saying, "We're already fucked up, Gee. This does nothing to change that. It'll only make things better, trust me."

Gerard never ever doubted Mikey's words and isn't about to start now. And honestly? He's so freaking lucky that he was born into this family, and Mikey thinks the same. They share another sweet moment together, all smiles, before Mikey pulls him in for another kiss. It starts out slow and gentle but soon the tables turn and Gerard has to pull away for air as Mikey starts to let his hands wander down his bare sides and then up and down his thighs. "Start with touching." Gerard huffs in response to what Mikey asked earlier about guidance.

Personally, he'd be just fine if Mikey went straight to the sucking part of a blowjob, but Mikey did ask for his help and all so he's willing to let himself be teased first. Mikey answers with a wicked grin close to Gerard's face and runs his fingertips along the insides of Gee's thighs and then follows the line of his boxer briefs to the muscle in that crook where thigh meets crotch. Gerard's eyes flutter shut and Mikey uses his other hand to gently push him down and on his back with a palm to his chest. That hand then wanders down over Gerard's bellybutton and ends up flat over the bulge of Gerard's pyjama pants, evoking a nice groan from his brother.

He leans his head down and slowly pushed his head to Gerard's belly, inhaling the smell of skin and shower gel. He lets his lips wander around a bit for kisses and nibbles, then opens them to graze at the skin with his teeth. Mikey loves this, the soft give of Gerrard's belly and hips. He knows very well about his brother's insecurities, but he just wished he knew how perfect he really was. When he thinks he made a point after sucking a small hickey on Gee's hip, he asks, with his face now pressed into the cotton of Gerard's pyjamas, "Can I take these two off?"

Gerard gives him a go ahead with a tiny jut of his hips and Mikey inhales the musky, clean smell of Gerard's crotch through his damp underwear after pulling his pyjama pants down a bit. Under any other circumstances, Gerard would be slightly embarrassed about the wet spot on his briefs where his dick started to leak, but Mikey seems to enjoy himself quite well down there, judging by the way he basically nuzzles Gerard's junk with his nose and runs his parted lips over the hard outline. He's sure he could come from just that if he keeps kissing and licking the skin through cotton, but then Mikey pulls back slightly and pulls both clothing items down and mindlessly lets them hang over Gerard's left ankle where they can slip off on their own.

He faintly hears Mikey's voice, asking him what he likes and how he should start, asks if he should just start and Gerard could jump in if he's doing something wrong and Gerard thinks that _Yes, that's a good idea,_ because his voice dies anyway as Mikey ducks his head again, takes hold of Gerard's dick and shyly runs a long, wet streak from his balls up to the tip.

Mikey knows he's doing something right when he hears Gerard moan throaty from above him and feels his dick jump against his tongue and sees his brother's fingers grasping the sheets underneath him. He likes this, he decides. Gerard smells and tastes different than the girls he was eating out in the past, musky and bitter and even though he just showered, there's an underlying smell of clean sweat gathering and Mikey's brain associates that with something really amazing.

"Can I touch your hair?" Gerard asks breathless from above with closed eyes and a heaving chest. Mikey grins and decides to tease him with silence for now and ducks his head to part his lips over Gerard's tip and slowly sucks for the first time. At the same time, he presses his thumb against the root of Gee's dick and is rewarded with an, "Aaahhnngg," from his brother that could have been heard by their parents.

Yeah, Mikey thinks and starts to bob his head up and down slowly, this is a fucking sexy thing to do. What would make it even more sexy? Simple. He gropes around with his free hand until he finds Gerard’s clenched fingers in the bedsheet and leads their hands to Mikey’s hair. “Do it!” he slurps in a husky voice on a quick pull off and presses their still entangled hands harder on Mikey’s head for good measure.

Gerard swears he feels his belly bottom out at the sound of Mikey’s voice and does, _carefully_ , what he was asked to. He waits until Mikey has his mouth back on his dick and his hand grabbing at Gee’s thigh before he messily runs his fingers through Mikey’s sandy blonde looks, pushes his head down slightly and waits for Mikey’s reaction. He doesn’t want to choke him on his first time doing this, he really doesn’t, but Mikey seems so fucking eager with this that it’s really hard to tell that he’s still just a beginner and asked for guidance when really, he’s a pro at this just like he is with the kissing.

Another 4-5 minutes pass and Gerard uses them to let Mikey explore, try and reveals little tips and tricks such as how to prevent chocking if it does happen at some point, what spot really does it for dudes (Well. For Gerard, really. How the hell should he know what fucking Pete Wentz is into, anyway) and that he should just follow his instincts and try what he likes being done to. He also tells him how freaking good he is at this, that his tongue feels hot and even that he just wants to fuck that mouth, because Gerard’s brain is clearly turned off and his dirty talk seeks through. Mikey doesn’t seem to mind though, just sucks him down harder and tells him to just do it, for fucks sake, he’s not gonna break. But Gerard pushes him off then, tells him that he doesn’t want to come like this even if it’s more than tempting, and so Mikey rolls his eyes in an amused way and gives his jaw a quick rub to cast out the kinks there.

Mikey then gets up on both knees, the perfect spot in Gerard's line of vision and sticks his right hand into his boxershorts. Just like that, and Gerard stays frozen in place to watch as Mikey closes his eyes and lets his head fall back slightly and sighs audible through his nose. Then he starts to slowly pump his dick a couple of times and okay. Gerard must be still asleep because who is lucky enough to witness something like that?! Jesus Lord.

  
Gerard thinks Mikey is going to get off on this but it appears that he just needed to let some tension out because not much later he climbs back on Gerard's hips and attacks his mouth in a sloppy kiss that tastes like Gee's precome. "Fucking hell, Mikey. Had no idea what a sexy fucker you can be and trust me I was thinking about this before. Shit!" The last part comes out in a groan because Mikey rolls his hips down, hard, and bites on Gerard's lip.

Gerard swears he can feel Mikey's grin against his mouth, the fucker. Then he decides that he really wants to get to the sex part of the evening and rolls them both over in one swift move.  
"Hi." Gerard says and notices, for the first time, that Mikey is blushing. How awfully pretty. "You good?"

  
"Mmmm. Yeah. I'd be better if you'd start working on my ass now, though." Mikey says, all content and stretches to set an example as to what’s waiting for him. Gerard takes that as a cue and reaches over to the bedside table to get the lube and condoms out. While Gerard’s busy, Mikey takes the chance to slide out of his underwear and socks and turns around with his face to the mattress. The nervous feeling from before creeps back in, but it’s all good. He’s excited to finally do this and he know Gerard’ll be kind. And hopefully also a bit rough.

“Hi again.” Gerard says, taking in the view of Mikey in front of him and admiring the many tiny freckles on his back and shoulders. Mikey turns his head on the pillow so he can look at Gerard and give him a soft smile, keeping his eyes closed though. Gerard’s in love.

“You’ll tell me if you need a break or if it hurts or anything at all, okay?” And before Mikey gets a chance to respond properly, he feels Gerard’s lips on his shoulder, feels them wander to the nape of his neck and down between his shoulder blades. The only sounds in the room are the very soft rustle of Gerard’s knees on the bedsheet, the noises of his puckering lips as they kiss a new spot on Mikey’s skin and Mikey’s occasional noises of satisfaction.

When Gerard is about a second away to lick over Mikey’s rim, he suddenly jerks to the side with a shriek, nearly hitting Gerard in the face with his hipbone. “Fuck, what?” Gerard asks and his eyes go all big.

Mikey is so, so stupid. He had all this time to kill earlier and didn’t, not for a second, think of taking a fucking shower?! Hell, even Gerard showered so that has to mean something! And now someone’s gonna put his mouth on his ass and he feels all embarrassed and like a tool.

“I didn’t take a shower before this, shit. Sorry, I can do it right now, just give me a-“ Mikey splutters out hastily but Gerard, the giant freak, Seriously!, stops him by rolling him back into his former position and bites at the swell of Mikey’s ass, much to Mikey’s confusion and also _Holy Crap!_ Talk about being rough! Sweet.

“No, man. ‘M glad you didn’t. Guys need to smell raw and sweaty for this, trust me. Shower gel tastes nice and all, but this is such a fucking turn on, you have no idea.” And if this wasn’t enough for Mikey to drop dead right there, Gerard proofs his statement by pulling Mikey’s butt cheeks apart and licking wet and hot over his hole.

“Fuck, _fuck_ you freak!” Mikey mutters out of the side of his mouth and feels his dick taking interest again. His thoughts from before were kind of a turn off, okay.

Gerard feasts on the feel and taste of this. Bert can be hardcore when it comes to not showering and assfucks, so this is nothing compared to what he’s tasted in regards of sweat and whatnot. Mikey is perfect. Warm and musky and bitter and it doesn’t take long at all before he starts to loosen up to let Gee’s tongue slip past the ring of muscles and Mikey to push his ass up into Gerard’s face. Yeah, he loves that part.

When Mikey feels his brother’s first finger slip in and then the next because the first one is easy even for him, he makes a mental note to go buy lube for him and Pete because he kind of totally forgot about that and with Sarah and Alicia, it was never necessary. Mikey had grinned smugly at Gerard when he plugged the bottle open and Mikey was able to read the label. Cherry scented. “Don’t even ask.”, Gerard had said with a roll of his eyes and he might have heard something like “Fucking Bert,” under his breath.

As of now, Gerard has three fingers up inside of Mikey and he’s kind of fascinated how well he’s taking it for his first time. He had asked for only a quick break when the third slipped in, but soon he relaxed and took it and judging by the noises he makes now, also liking it.

When Gerard has Mikey moaning and thrusting his hips towards Gee’s fingers, he decides that he’s ready. But he doesn’t want to do it like that. Instead, “Mikes, you wanna turn around for this? It isn’t as easy face to face, not for a first time, but I wanna see you, if that’s okay with you…” And for the first time ever tonight, Mikey notices that Gerard is slightly shaking, just his fingers and also a tiny bit his lower lip, but it’s there and if that is going to make it easier for his brother then he’ll be damned not to. And also because he thinks that it’ll be better like this, because he’ll feel it for longer and also because he bets his hands that Gerard is even hotter than usual when he comes and he doesn’t want to miss that.

There’s a sweet moment between them as Gerard stuffs a pillow under Mikey’s butt and then sprawls over him to kiss him, slow and soft this time. Close eyed, Mikey feels it as Gee brushes a few strands out of his eyes, nuzzles at his ear, kisses him again and then reaches beside him to grab the condom he put there earlier. Then he feels a nudging at his hand and opens his eyes to see that Gerard placed the condom inside of his palm. He looks up at Gerard with questioning eyes.

“I don’t know if you’ve done this before and I want you to be safe with Pete.” Gerard says reasonable and in a sure voice and wow. He’s actually right. Mikey has never done this before, not on someone else. He guesses he could just remember how he would normally do it on himself when he’s with Pete, but why not try this.

He smirks and looks Gerard in the eyes as he brings the condom to his mouth and carefully rips the foil open with his teeth, spitting the little part that got loose somewhere on the bed. Then he pulls the slippery condom out of the packaging and lowers his hands to where Gerard’s crotch is. Gerard is pushed up on his hands next to Mikey’s face and he wiggles his hips a bit to give Mikey access to his dick.

They never break eye contact as Mikey cards his fingernails through the coarse hair of Gerard’s lucky trail and pubic hair, gives Gerard’s dick a few strong, slow jerks, smears his thumb over the head and then licks his lips as he rolls the condom on, slow and slick. Mikey then lets his fingers wander to Gerard’s balls and gives them a soft squeeze, watches in awe as Gee’s eyelashes flutter a little and his lips part slightly. Mikey’s lips do the same.

It’s Mikey who then grabs Gerard’s dick and places the head at his entrance, giving the go ahead to push in. Gerard searches Mikey’s face for any last remains of uncertainty, but he finds non. He takes one of his hands away from next to Mikey’s head and places it just above Mikey’s knee, pushing it up and crooking it, then gives Mikey’s dick a couple of strokes before grabbing a hold of his own dick and finally, finally pressing in.

It happens slowly, Gerard giving Mikey time to adjust because it does hurt at some point. But other than that, the first few minutes are fucking sensual. Hushed voices, broken moans, gentle touches. It’s what Gerard wants to give Mikey and Mikey is glad.

Soon though, when Mikey fully adjusted to the new sensation and Gerard is about to burst apart, the fucking starts. And to both of their surprise, it’s Mikey who’s getting impatient. He grabs at Gerard’s ass and pushes him forward, spreading his legs wider and rolling his head back on the pillow when Gerard pulls out nearly entirely and then thrusts in so hard his balls slap against Mikey’s.

“Ah _shit_ yes.” Mikey moans and his back arches off the bed. Gerard struggles to keep his rhythm going while grabbing behind him and pulling Mikey’s hands off of him to pin them above his head and cross them over the wrists. He loses his balance like this and falls fully on top of Mikey, who seems perfectly fine with their new position and weight on top of him.

“God Mikes, it’s been so long since I fucked a virgin. So damn tight. Love you, Mikey.” Gerard groans into Mikey’s ear and then licks over it which should be disgusting, but Mikey’s dick jumps happily and his brain melts out of his ears at Gerard’s words.

“Touch me.” Mikey whimpers and clenches his walls around Gee’s dick. Gerard thankfully does reach down to touch him with the hand that isn’t holding Mikey’s wrists above his head and starts to jerk him off. “Yeah.” Mikey moans in pleasure and trashes his head from left to right on the pillow, getting closer by the second.

Then Gerard does let go of Mikey’s wrists and gets up on his knees, placing his now free hand on Mikey’s hip and shoving him up to fuck deeper and faster into him. Gerard gets a really freaking great view from up here. Mikey let his arms above his head and holds on to the railing of the bed, showing of the veins in his arms and muscles of his biceps. Gerard wants to lean back down to lick over Mikey’s armpit hair because he finds that fucking sexy, but he contains himself and concentrates on a steady rhythm. Mikey exposed his long, beautiful neck that pretty much begs to be marked up, but that’s Pete’s job to do and he hopes he knows how freaking lucky that bastard is.

Mikey is getting close. He feels Gerard’s gaze on him even though he’s so blissed out that he can’t keep his eyes open. He did snug a glance when Gerard got up on his knees, took in his sweaty stomach and the hair that stuck to his face, his red-bitten lip and the bopping of his Adams apple when he swallowed. He’s getting really close when Gerard starts to thrust deeper and faster into him, finds Mikey’s prostate and hits it dead on. He can’t keep his mouth shut to tell him that much through broken gasps and prays that their parents are either out of the house or ignoring the two of them, because he’s sure they can hear them at this point. What the fuck ever though.

“Shit, shit, shit Gee, keep fucking me, m’ gonna come. Oh _Fuck_.” And when he does just that, he feels himself clench tight around Gerard’s pulsing dick that was shoving Gerard’s own orgasm deep into the condom inside Mikey’s ass.

After they both came their brains off, Gerard once again collapses on top of Mikey in a sweaty pile of bones and heaving breaths. They stay like that for a moment, admiring what they just did and how much they secretly liked it. But then Gerard has to pull out and remove the condom because, ew. He ties it and throws it mindlessly next to the bed where hopefully no one will step on as soon as the first one decides to move, but it doesn’t happen until the first gently rays of sunlight shine through the tiny window of Gerard’s room down here. Why should they move? They’re fine where they are right now.

-

Mikey falls deeply in love with Pete. Not because their first time was also amazing, but simply because Pete is Pete and there was no way Mikey was immune to all that Pete gave.

One night, 5 years into their relationship, Mikey sits on his and Pete’s bed and thinks that it probably wasn’t even necessary for Gerard to fuck him all those years back. Not because of the ‘want’ factor, but because it appeared pretty soon that Pete never fucked Mikey, but the other way around. For some reason, Mikey wanted Gerard to be the only one to have that privilege and place. Call him crazy, but he couldn’t help himself.

But in the end, they didn’t stay together after all. Pete was heartbroken and so was Mikey, but after their last summer together, it was time to end what they had. The last thing he told Mikey was that he’d always be his, until the earth started to crumble and the heavens rolled away, and that he’d always remember the scent of his summer skin and how beautiful Mikey looked that one night in the downpour outside their house in his long, black coat. Even if they had new partners, he’d always be Pete’s first, giant, wonderful, frustrating, amazing and heart-breaking big love.

Mikey could accept that and thinks back to this crazy, fantastic, beautiful first and only ever boyfriend of his with a smile on his face and a sad and happy heart all at once, even after marrying the mother of his two beautiful daughters later on.

-

Gerard never had to confess his crush on Frank, because Frank confessed his crush to him before he got a chance to do so. They never married, but were lovers until this day and more in love every morning they woke up, but still, whenever Gerard and Frank had sex and it was Gerard’s turn to top, he couldn’t help but imagine Mikey underneath him, even if they had sex just the night before while Frank was out to give them space. Mikey was right, their first time didn’t fuck them up any further, but made everything only so, so much better.

Thankfully, both Kristin and Frank new and understood what Mikey and Gerard had and never came in between them. It had even gotten to a point where sometimes Kristin just smiled at her husband and shooed Mikey to _Go, come on Hun, I’ll just call Frank over to hang out with, seriously it’s okay,_ and kissed Mikey goodbye before he went off to spend the night with Gee. She and Frank always argued with the simple fact that love is love and cannot be stopped.

Especially not between Mikey and Gerard.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave kudos and/or comments as they mean love and critique! :)
> 
> Also, were you able to pick out the three petekey songs I smuggled in?
> 
> Most of you dont know about this since I always dream about waycest (my forever otp) but Pete and Mikey have been on my IN LOVE list for as long as Mikey and Gerard.


End file.
